I speak not, I trace not, I breathe not … your name. For there’s grief in the sound … there’s guilt in the blame. Will I ever be able to feel again? May I hold you one last time? Maybe I will feel something again. Deception leaves a metallic taste ... the untruthfulness is more than I can bear … I can no longer convince myself … when I speak to you, my voice I no longer hear… and it rips me apart. Why am I trying to hold on… when the pain is more than I can bear? Perhaps if I can forgive me … forgive you … forgive us …but the scars wont heal.How do we play our broken strings? How do we feel something that our hearts won’t allow? How can I continue telling you something that’s not real?
The truth hurts … but lying is worse… the pain of it too much. How can I give anymore … when my love for you is different now? How do we play house in the ruins of us? It’s like running back into the fire, when there’s nothing left to save. It’s like chasing the very last train, when you already know it’s too late.
I speak not, I trace not, I breathe not … your name. For there’s grief in the sound … there’s guilt in the blame. The tear that now burns my cheek reveals the deep thoughts dwelling in the silence of my heart. Thoughts too brief for our passion … too long for our peace. Where are all those hours gone now … will their joy or bitterness ever cease? You may have all the happiness … mine will be the guilt.
Forgive me my dearest .. forsake me if you wish. Your heart is stronger than mine, and no one shall ever break it .. whatever may become of us. For now … the bitterness in this soul I cannot shake .. and our days appear more fleeting now, and our moments more sweet.
One sigh of your sorrow, one look of your love … and I’m captivated .. rewarded … reproached.
This is absolutely riveting Johannes. Your sorrow leaves an ache in my heart and I wish I could remove all the pain you are feeling. Keep in mind though, that in our sorrow and despair is yet a moment in which we truly learn of ourselves and what we are capable of. It is that point in which we find our greatest source of strength and where we also learn to love again. If you did not love, you would not be able to feel pain nor would you learn of forgiveness and humility. You, my dearest, are a treasure and a gift and do not ever forget that!
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