My Gift, My Sacrifice

As I watched the crimson colored clouds bidding the dying sun farewell, my disquieting thoughts prevailed. Of light and darkness … harmony and discord … beauty and fear … freedom and entrapment.

I was thinking about you tonight. And I was thinking about my gift … My sad sweet gift, to shine light upon darkness and wash away gloom … the only limitation was its being ineffective on you my dearest. For against your deep sorrow it had no use. So I hid it … buried it. For the perversity of it was a constant reminder of my sacrifice. In graceless mutiny misrepresenting goodness I dwelt, until it was impossible to continue.

The shiny skies were swimming now in the moonlit expanse. As ray lit clouds gleamed glory, yet highlighting a dead spot where the light lay spent to darkness. How this serene landscape was being threatened by thoughts of bitter self reproaches as I dealt them silently.

My love, how fleeting our serenity was? … under constant threat by tormented reality … saturated by sadness. Was I beginning to lose my mind in the depths of your despair? Frail limitation prevented me from being your companion on your journey through hell. In this I failed you. By cowardice I was distanced … whisked away to the light … away from suffocating darkness.

And how I abandoned you in the darkness of your prison … please forgive me. Was not the warmth of my love for you enough … enough to melt the ice from your heart? How can I blame you, when it’s me I can’t forgive?

You are my greatest sacrifice … for my gift I can no longer hide.